we made out on top of his cat.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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