I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize