i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
