you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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