I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
