we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
