didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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