You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
soo... how was my night?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
