I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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