bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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