she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
