Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
