Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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