Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
