It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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