Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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