There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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