i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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