Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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