She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize