You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
