my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We have so much sex to catch up on
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize