we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I currently don't understand fingers.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
