Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
