Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
