don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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