It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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