Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
