I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
