This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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