it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
