my phone needs a breathalizer
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
