He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
A bitchslap is in order.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
