Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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