Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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