The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
