he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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