Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
