I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
