my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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