I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
