You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
