Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
