Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
