on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
