Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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