If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
