Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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