yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think people are normalizing furries
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
