just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
