Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
