Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
