You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
