im six kinds of drunk right now
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
