Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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