Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
