You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm getting married
To pizza
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
