Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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