How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
