I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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