a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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