She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
