i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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